My Explaination For Not Loving You Always
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: Robin is torn apart with guilt about his feelings for Isabella and a dream leaves him in a bit of a state. Very angsty. A little bit of Robin/Tuck friendship too.


**Title: My Explaination For Not Loving You Always**

**Summary: Robin is torn apart with guilt about his feelings for Isabella and a dream leaves him in a bit of a state. Very angsty. A little bit of Robin/Tuck friendship too.**

**Author's Note: I wrote this from the title given by _Mystical-Magickal-Wytch_** **because I'm practising my timed writing.** **I hope you all enjoy this. It turned out more angsty than I'd first thought. This story just got out all the feelings I have against Marian, and how I think Robin would feel about the whole situation. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Robin Hood._**

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So there she was; beautiful. I stared, of course I did. I hadn't felt like that about anyone in a very long time. Then I felt the nagging guilt in the pit of my stomach; Marian. I'd sworn to love her forever but there I was falling for someone else. I really hate myself sometimes. Isabella... She was Guy's _sister. _I couldn't love her! Not ever! How could I love anyone related to Gisborne? Funny how things never work like that though, I thought as I fell asleep.

_"Robin?" came a soft voice from behind me. _

_I span around with wide eyes with an odd feeling dancing around inside me. I knew that voice but she couldn't be here! That just wasn't the way things were. The dead never come back - not ever. "What?" I whispered, confused. _

_"Why, Robin?" she asked me gently. She was wearing a long white dress and had a pale flower in her hair. Not even a man blind to beauty could deny she looked stunning._

_I took a step towards her but she held up a hand in warning. I stopped abruptly and bit my lip, "I'm sorry, Marian," I breathed, fidgeting slightly and knowing I sounded pathetic. "I wish things were different."_

_"That's your choice. You can change things, Robin," she told me. A tear leaked out of her eye but she didn't touch it. I badly wanted to wipe it away for her. _

_"I love you," I blurted out blindly. _

_"I know you do. But you love her too?" Marian said with slightly raised eyebrows. She had a wounded look in her eyes and I hated it._

_"I'm sorry," I said, tears blurring my vision. _

_"Really?"_

_"How do you think I felt when you were hanging on Gisborne's arm? Huh? Well, Marian, you of all people should know it's not easy!" I snapped, suddenly losing my temper. I sighed. I'd let anger get the better of me. Again. _

_"You know I never wanted Guy," Marian retorted, looking at my like I was a stupid child._

_"No, Marian, I didn't! You didn't listen to me when I said you should leave him! I offered you protection in the forest! I offered you everything!" I told her, all my suppressed feelings from the past bubbling back to to the surface and coming out in one huge torrent of words. "You didn't listen!" I repeated lamely. "You shouldn't have died! You didn't have to die!" I fell to my knees nearly sobbing. _

_"I told Guy I loved you. Isn't that enough?" she asked. _

_"You died! He killed you! If you'd just left and-."_

_"What protection is there in a forest, Robin? You're an outlaw! There's never going to be safety when the Sheriff is hounding you! You're not invincible, you know!" she snapped at at me. _

_"Neither were you!" I sighed. It was too late to tell her that now she was dead. It's not like I could change it. _

_"I loved you, I died so you'd know that!" she whispered, "I didn't want it to work out the way it did but-."_

_"But it did? Is that what you're going to say? It's too late Marian. It's me who's got to live on this Earth without you! How am I meant to get by knowing I'm alone every single day? How am I meant to carry on with nobody to tell me they love me? Tell me how that's fair Marian? I miss you!" I said looking at the ground and fighting to keep my voice level. When I felt strong enough to look up, I saw she was gone. There was no trace that Marian was ever there. "And that's my explanation for not loving you always..." I sighed into the wind._

I woke up in the early hours of the morning with tears in my eyes. I looked around the camp and saw the others were still sleeping. I slowly got to my feet and walked out of the camp a little way and flopped down beside a tree and sobbed and howled like I'd never done before. After a while I felt someone, Tuck I think, put an arm around me and hold me close while I cried myself stupid. He never said anything, and for that I'm grateful. He held me the way only a father would and just let me sob into his chest not caring who saw.


End file.
